This morning I read an article about how women in their 40s are experiencing midlife crises, such as the world has never seen. It was aimed toward Gen X women, the "forgotten middle child," according to the article, between Baby Boomers and Millennials.
Side note: can we just all agree that the labels on generations are REALLY confusing? I was born in 1980 and, according to different things I've read, I am either the youngest Gen Xer or the oldest Millennial. I played Oregon Trail in school (Gen X) but I was too young to go to Nirvana concerts. So. I don't know. I sort of relate to things written about both. Or neither. Whatever. It doesn't really matter, because the reality is this:
Millennials are now referring to themselves as "The Burnout Generation." Gen X is in the midst of a midlife crisis. Everything is stressful. Everyone is scared and worried and frankly, when you are a woman in our shallow, looks-obsessed culture, it is completely normal to freak out a little bit about those little lines that start to appear around your eyes. And for me, apparently, alongside my nose in the mornings. I'm a side sleeper. This is the fun of your 30s. The way you sleep gives you wrinkles now. My point is, it's normal.
We would, in my opinion, be weird if we weren't a little panicked right now. The world is a scary place at the moment. None of us have as much money as our parents did at our age. I'll try to stay away from politics, but can we all agree that our president might actually be insane? The freaking Doomsday Clock moved another minute closer to midnight, when apparently we all die? By the way, thank you to whoever invented that useless piece of crap that actually tells us nothing real. It's all terrifying and it just keeps coming. The news app on my iPhone updates, like, fifty times a day. And it's never anything good.
I keep going back to what the pastor told Jesse and I when we did our premarital counseling, all those years ago. 9/11 had JUST happened. The whole world was on edge. I was worried about bringing children into such a scary world. And Pastor Dwight (I don't remember his last name) said,
"Misery sells." Wait, what? "Misery. It sells. It sells papers and magazines. It gets clicks." (Online news was new-ish, but Pastor Dwight was a wise man and he could tell which way the wind was blowing.) It was an eye-opening moment for me. No one would read a newspaper (Gen X!) or a Buzzfeed article (Millennial!) with the headline,
"Billions of People Have Nice Normal Day, Pet Their Dog, and Go to Bed." I mean, I wouldn't. I'm more of a cat person anyway. But lots of people love dogs and I'll bet they STILL wouldn't read that article. It would be boring. Who wants to read what happened to me yesterday? NO ONE. I fed my kids, nagged them to do their schoolwork, made dinner, went for a swim, watched an episode of Top Chef on Hulu, and went to sleep. Ha. I just made YOU read what happened to me yesterday. I'm sorry; I know that wasn't very interesting.
Listen, I get that things are bad right now. And I do not know what's going to happen. Maybe the Doomsday Clock people are right and, in the words of the immortal and amazing Whoopi, we are all "in danger, girl." Maybe. But things have been bad before. People have been scared before. We have gotten through it before.
Please note that I'm not urging complacency. I love activism and I believe it changes the world. But there is a difference between being active and refreshing your phone a hundred times to find new things to worry about. Trust me; I've done both.
I guess what I'm suggesting is...connection. Be scared. But at some point, don't forget to turn off notifications and just be. Laugh with your friends. Tease your kids (in a nice way). Make love to your partner. Listen to music that moves you. Take cookies to a neighbor. Read an actual book, preferably fiction. Go sit outside, even if it's raining or snowing. Do something that you truly enjoy, without thinking about the "shoulds" or the "shouldn'ts," because shoulds and shouldn'ts will ruin your life and happiness. They're known for it.
Think about the world you want to live in, and how you can take small steps to make it happen. Have a conversation with someone who doesn't share your political or religious beliefs. Pray. Meditate. Remember what it feels like to have hope, and remember that even when we don't feel it, we always have hope. Always.
Amen.
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